Jokes

While travelling across the prairie, why did all the covered wagons stop? Answer

What is the difference between a stoat and a weasel? Answer

Did you hear about the hyena who swallowed an oxo cube? Answer

What do you call a hula-hoop with a nail in it? Answer

What is the difference between a market gardener and a snooker player? Answer

How does a penguin get to school? Answer

How does an Eskimo build his home? Answer

Why did the boy swallow his 50 pence piece? Answer

A man has some guests at his house for a party and it goes on till late at night. A woman leaves the room briefly and spots a gong. She comes back and asks the man why he has a gong in his house? He replies "its my talking clock". Another man asks him to demonstrate it. So the man picks up the beater and bangs the gong. Suddenly a woman next door shouts from behind the wall "keep it down it's 3 in the morning".

A duck goes into a bar and says to the barman "can i have some bread please". The barman then tells the duck that he does not sell bread, he sells drinks. The duck however keeps asking if he can have some bread. After a while the barman gets really angry and tells the duck "if you ask for bread one more time i am going to nail your beak to the wall. Then the duck asks "have you got any nails?" The barman obviously says no, we just sell drinks. The duck then says well can i have some bread please.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

Two boll weevils grew up in Cornwall. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind, drove a tractor and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw".

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer".

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